Perceptions are tricky things. Have you ever asked witnesses to a crime to describe the culprit? Very often, their descriptions of the suspect vary, sometimes drastically. Of course most crimes occur in the blink of an eye, when we least expect them. Nevertheless, the same problem usually plagues us in our daily lives as well. Two people rarely see exactly […]
How to Make Peace: Apology
“Apologies play an important role in conflict resolution. But too often we do not know how to craft an appropriate apology.” Watch the video to learn some basic tips on how to make an apology.
How to Resolve a Conflict Before It Spirals Out of Control: Stages of Escalation
Conflicts start small. Words are exchanged. Feelings are hurt. If handled quickly, such fights prove to be nothing but speed bumps in the road of life. If left to fester, they can quickly escalate into something monstrous. Lawsuits are filed. Blows are traded. Relationships are destroyed. Most would agree it’s best to resolve conflict as soon as possible. The quicker […]
Faith-Based Conflict Resolution Skills: How to Assess Your Needs
If we’re serious about resolving the conflict in our lives, we need to be able to articulate our own needs. Of course, most of us assume we know what those are. Only when we try to articulate them, things get a little fuzzy. It’s not so much that we don’t know our own interests as that we haven’t sat down […]
A Franciscan Peacemaker’s Guide to Power and Possessions
In our last post we talked about how conflicts over possessions are deceptively simple. However important material goods may seem, they’re rarely at the heart of the matter. Rather, possessions involve issues of power, prestige, respect, love, pride, and any number of emotional triggers. In this video, Greg takes up the subject again and guides Franciscan peacemakers through the […]
A Franciscan Despises Possessions, but Withholds Judgment
Saint Francis didn’t much like possessions. In fact, he disliked them so much he gave up all of his. Threw them all away so he could follow Christ without hindrance. In this he was only following the advice of Jesus to the young man—If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to [the] poor, and […]
The Anatomy of a Conflict: Three Reasons People Fight with Each Other
Conflict is inevitable. We can try to avoid it, but we can never eliminate it. Fortunately there is a way to manage conflicts and mitigate the damage. With just a little training, the average person can go a long way toward resolving his or her own conflict. All it takes is a little know-how. Naming the Problem: The First Step […]
5 Reasons People Fail to Resolve Conflicts
People ignore conflict for many reasons. In fact, there might be as many reasons as there are people. That being said, we’ve run into many of the same ones over and over again in the mediation business. Here they are: the top five reasons people give for not resolving conflict, and the reasons those reasons don’t cut it. 1. They […]
The Conflict Narrative: How to Tell Your Side of the Story
It’s happened to many of us: We have a conflict; we’ve tried to resolve it; we’ve confronted the other party; we’ve talked to friends; we’ve pleaded our case before a judge or jury, but no one listens to our side of the story. No one sees things the way we do. Perhaps the whole world is insensitive. Perhaps no one […]